Relationship Psychology · 90 secs

Anxious-Avoidant Trap & Pursue-Withdraw Cycle Screener (EFT Model)

Framework: Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy - EFT) & Dr. Amir Levine Attached Model · 100% Private & Free

Identify whether relational whiplash, panic-driven protest behaviors, and cold emotional withdrawal are signs of the anxious-avoidant attachment trap.

Scientific Overview

The Anxious-Avoidant Trap is an escalating pursue-withdraw relational loop where one partner craves closeness and pursues with protest behaviors (texts, panic, anger), while the other feels suffocated and withdraws into stonewalling. This polarization causes severe nervous system dysregulation and trauma bonding.

What This Assessment Evaluates

  • Measures 3 subscales: Anxious Pursuit & Protest Behaviors, Avoidant Distancing & Deactivation, and Push-Pull Trauma Whiplash
  • Explains the neurochemistry of intermittent reinforcement and post-conflict dopamine spikes
  • Actionable EFT cycle-de-escalation scripts, timed pauses, and somatic vocal discharge exercises

How to Take This Test

  1. Answer honestly based on your experience over the past 7 days.
  2. There are no right or wrong answers; trust your initial emotional reaction.
  3. Receive your personalized score breakdown, mascot insight, and custom journaling prompts immediately.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can an anxious-avoidant relationship become secure and healthy?

Yes. When both partners identify the pursue-withdraw dynamic as the shared enemy, agree on structured timeouts with explicit return promises, and practice self-soothing, the relationship can evolve into earned security.

Why do anxious and avoidant individuals magnetically attract each other?

The avoidant partner's initial independence feels like safe stability to the anxious person, while the anxious partner's warmth feels vibrant to the avoidant person. Paradoxically, the familiar childhood trauma scripts of both partners confirm each other's deepest fears.

Medical Disclaimer

Medical Disclaimer: This instrument is designed for personal self-awareness, emotional tracking, and educational purposes. It is not a clinical diagnosis, psychological treatment, or a substitute for licensed psychiatric care.

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